Thank the lord for my parents. You’re the real MVP for letting me use HBO. Please, just don’t cancel your subscription or I’ll be very sad. Since I have access to HBO, I was able to catch an exclusive early preview of Issa Rae’s new show insecure. I will say that I am very pleased at what I saw and I look forward to seeing what more is to come for this show. insecure hits home because of some of the points that were brought up, being the token black person, having a friend that is a great support system, and the relationship that is going nowhere and how to navigate through relationships.
Without giving too much away, Issa’s character, also named after herself, works for a non-profit group where let’s just say, doesn’t have an inclusive staff that fits the environment that they are trying to “save.” Therefore making her the token black person and the “ambassador” of all things black. Now, I’m sure any black person at one point in time was the token and ambassador. We should add that to our resumes. Also, I want to point out, even though I didn’t mention this earlier, that kids these days are so evil. In the opening scene, I wanted to snatch up every kid that had something negative to say. That really made me upset how they were talking to her.
Anyways, back to my main points I mentioned. Relationships will be a big key factor of this show. Issa’s friend Molly made great points about being a black woman and having successful relationships, or lack there of in her case. Molly made the case that there are several factors that are against her for not having a successful relationship. “If I call or text a lot, I’m needy. If I don’t call or text enough, I get “oh I wasn’t sure if you were feeling me.” If I have sex with you, you aren’t interested. If I don’t have sex with you, you aren’t interested.” These are only a few of the points. Then of course there’s the “your standards are too low.” Issa’s character explained to her sorry excuse for a boyfriend in a sly remark that maybe she set her standards too low when he tried to call out her friend Molly. This really struck a cord with me because being a black woman, it is hard for us to navigate the dating scene.
We are constantly told that we are too bitter, aren’t submissive enough, have too high of standards, too ghetto, too this that and the other. Why is it that although we black women make up the largest percentage of the most educated, but we get shunned when we want someone who is close to our level? Not even talking about someone who makes six figures. There are guys out there who have their own businesses without a degree. We want a guy who basically has their shit together. That’s not even a high standard. You have a stable job with stable income, you have your own car that you are able to maintain, your own place, you aren’t bad mouthing women, you understand the struggle of oppressed people and aren’t so dismissive, etc. I can keep going on. Oh and having no kids would be one, my list anyways. I tried that before and won’t be doing that again.
It is becoming far too common today that men are so quick to talk bad about us, going as far as calling us “thots.” Fucking stupid word in my opinion. Some guys today love to bad mouth women, yet these are the same guys who don’t have their shit together and are basically fuckboys. Doesn’t matter if we love to explore our sexuality or that you just aren’t up to our standards that you deem too high. Word of advice, you probably weren’t even close to what we are looking for. We don’t have to settle to appease you. Which brings us to another point being addressed in the show, settling for less.
We may get to the point in our lives where we just don’t want to be single anymore or you just want to change things up and you might end up settling for less. I unfortunately fell into this category. Things started off fine, but they just kept getting drastically worse and I didn’t see it going up again. Everyone else could see it, but me or I did, but didn’t want to acknowledge it. When you see there is no end game or that who you’re with aren’t anywhere close to your standards, why do we continue to stay? Is it because we have gotten so comfortable that this is all we know? Is it because we feel sorry for them? I know I have my own opinion on this and everyone is different.
It is nice to see the two main characters have a bond where they can basically tell each other that they are being stupid, in the nicest sisterly way possible. This reminded me of the bond that I currently have with a great group of women. We openly have discussions about sex, our careers, and also when one of us is being downright stupid. (I did get a pass this time, but not again). I love them and I would do anything for them.
If you are able to check out the early preview of insecure, I highly recommend it. It’s also refreshing to see a show like this led by black women on a major cable network. Representation matters and I am very excited for this show. Thank you Issa for creating it.